This week is the first week back at my college that I am now an alumni of.
Naturally a lot of memories and emotions reemerged this week. Some being: nostalgia, happiness, sadness, love?
Or I should say what I thought was what could have been a beautiful love story. Instead, it ended up being a tragedy that I am so thankful is over.
Anyways, I reached out to this ex lover of mine and it did wonders for me…
I don’t think about him as much.
I don’t miss him anymore
And most importantly, I don’t fantasize what could have been (this was a big one for me because the “what if” kept getting inside my head and I couldn’t stop them).
It was probably the most freeing thing I could have done for myself. Some of my friends would shake their heads at this but it was something I needed to do. It gave me the closure I was looking for this whole time. He and I were able to talk as if nothing ever happened and that’s all I wanted. I want to remember what happened so I can learn from the mistakes we both made but I want to forget the toxic feeling of it all because my past relationships and mistakes do not define me now.
It’s amazing how lighter I feel. I’m no longer bitter/cynical about what happened. I think I can embrace what is to happen next now…
I am ready for the next chapter in my life. I no longer want to wish time would reverse but I am excited for what is to come because I know that my life will bring so many unforeseen things that will make me smile.
Happiness is the ultimate accessory, I can never forget that.